do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
