I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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