Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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