Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
