i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
