so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
