At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
