obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize