that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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