Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
