Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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