well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
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So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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