he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
