Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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