Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
