You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
