How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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