North Korea, Best Korea!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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