Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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