i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
