i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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