I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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