make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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