Please, let me fuck your mom
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
