Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize