who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
