I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Everclear isn't food dammit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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