genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
