A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
