Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He better not be in your backpack
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
