"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
