i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I party with great urgency now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
