What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
