Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
its not stalking. its research.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize