youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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