I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
