thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
