It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
