you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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