yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
