I didn't shave. On purpose
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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