hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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