so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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