We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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