I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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