either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
