There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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