he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
