I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
