Can i not drive my cunt home
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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