it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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