It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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