After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
