Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
