I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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