She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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