I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize