She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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