another moral hangover. fuck.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
wow bdsm is so cute
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
