Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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