How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am one with the molecules
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
